On Work and Family: Love Thy Self
I was thinking of what I did wrong, of what happened in my career. It has something to do with too much love I give to the companies I had worked in. I gave so much that I forgot to ask myself, "How about the word 'I'?" I forgot to love myself. I try to work in an environment that is so great with my motherhood schedule. I later on realize that work is not like that. My boss is right. He told me that work is work, family is family. You can't say that you are always late or absent because of family matters. I thought the initial work schedule set-up would go on forever without any complications. Then what the hell I'm with them (before)?
If I would look backwards, it's totally my fault. It's nobody's fault but me. If it's work, it should be work. I should have entertained the companies who had called many times, who can offer really big compensation, and are really in rush hiring.
I thought it would work. I thought the work load would be better soon. I thought it would be okay to have such salary since I am not looking for a career growth anymore, but to be a plain mother to my child. I thought that I would only leave the company when I know the company can go on without me.
Well... I did actually left the company a few months earlier than what I had expected. I really felt I was all fed up with the unstoppable pressure. I can't stand the "Berryblitz is the programmer who needs all the nursery type of explanation. I'm the jack-of-all-trades, can understand what the client needs, a system analyst and blah blah blah..." treatment.
On work, I forgot to love myself. On family, I forgot myself.
This has nothing to do with anyone but me. It's my fault for not entertaining other companies. It's my fault why I thought of being a half working mom, half full-time mom is a great idea to be able to sustain the care that my child needs.
I was still wondering if I need to go back to looking for a job.
If I would look backwards, it's totally my fault. It's nobody's fault but me. If it's work, it should be work. I should have entertained the companies who had called many times, who can offer really big compensation, and are really in rush hiring.
I thought it would work. I thought the work load would be better soon. I thought it would be okay to have such salary since I am not looking for a career growth anymore, but to be a plain mother to my child. I thought that I would only leave the company when I know the company can go on without me.
Well... I did actually left the company a few months earlier than what I had expected. I really felt I was all fed up with the unstoppable pressure. I can't stand the "Berryblitz is the programmer who needs all the nursery type of explanation. I'm the jack-of-all-trades, can understand what the client needs, a system analyst and blah blah blah..." treatment.
On work, I forgot to love myself. On family, I forgot myself.
This has nothing to do with anyone but me. It's my fault for not entertaining other companies. It's my fault why I thought of being a half working mom, half full-time mom is a great idea to be able to sustain the care that my child needs.
I was still wondering if I need to go back to looking for a job.
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