Does "Shy Type", "Liar", "Hurting other child's feelings" combine?

Pastilan has a great article about teaching a child to share his "blessings". I am inviting you guys check the article out at http://www.yourparentinginfo.com/learning-to-share/.

But on your Pastilan's last sentence... "If you help your child understand that when one little boy takes a toy from another little boy it is because he wants the toy for himself and not because he wants to hurt the feelings of the other boy, it will help."

My question is: What if the child takes away toys to hurt other child's feeling???

I should be posting this as a comment on the article. But I find this too complicated to be a comment. So I'm asking this one here as a blog post.

My husband's niece is a perfect example. They are two sisters. The 4-year-old girl do always take toys away from her little sister. And when the little girl starts crying, the older one would start smiling and laughing, then looking at us (me, her uncle/my husband, her grand parents), just like telling us of what she had done, that she's great (I think).

There's a twist in there. I'm not a psychologist. But I think there's something wrong.

The older child is a very shy girl. She doesn't speak much. When you ask her something, she won't answer, unlike her younger sister. She's in nurse prep. When she has not yet started schooling, she's so excited to go to school. I had told her what she would do in school, and she's so eager to start schooling. But when she started schooling, she hates school. She doesn't want to play with her classmates. It's weird because she's just about 3 1/2 years old at that time. And she's been playing with a lot of children on her neighborhood.

She doesn't want to sleep either when the teacher tells the kids to have a nap. And the weirdest thing for me is she doesn't eat anything during lunch on school!!!

Here's a COMPLETE list on her menu:

• rice, congee
• spaghetti, fried chicken, pork (yung taba lang), hotdog
• chocolate (m&m and the like, the regular chocolate flavor)
• ice cream
• soup (super selected only)
• bread
• peanut butter spread, chocolate flavored spread (just like Nutella)
  
• doughnut chocolate toppings (toppings only!)
• chocolate cake (depends, and choco mousse is out on her list)
• instant noodles la paz batchoy flavor
• lanzones (no other fruits)
• softdrinks of any kind, juice of any kind, ice water, hot water
• milk (just one particular brand), chocolate flavored milk (any brand)
  

Her teacher told her parents that she doesn't want to eat anything.

She's also a liar. At her age, I can't imagine she can lie. My brother can't even lie or keep a little secret when he was still a naughty little kid. And here's a girl who is so shy to the maximum level, and yet always tell lies, and even makes her little sister cry.

When I saw her doing her thing, I always tell her to give the toy back, and ask her "Are you a good girl?" She'll answer yes. Then I'll tell her that if she's a good girl, she must not take toys away from her little sister. But still, she kept on doing that.

Does "shy type", "liar", "hurting other child's feelings" combine? I want to shape up that kid. She's a good kid but with a twist. I think her grand parents and parents are not doing any right thing about it. I saw them laughing and telling the younger girl to stop crying.

Does "Shy Type", "Liar", "Hurting other child's feelings" combine?